GAMESHOCK TV (series 2, episode 2, part 2)
Hello, welcome back to Gameshock TV. I’m Chris Hewitt, and this is a taste of what'll be coming out of my mouth over the next 15 minutes... (pauses as he realises what he’s said)
COMING UP
Resident Evil gets a makeover and flexes its guns, with Operation Raccoon City; there’s a new initiate to the stabby parkour trend in Assassins Creed 3; and all the month’s big releases in one handy section.
REVIEW – RESIDENT EVIL RACCOON CITY
As Spiderman once never said, ‘with great franchises comes great responsibility’. Straying from its pant-wetting horror format, Resident Evil’s T-virus has mutated into a new shooter strain, but are the scares still there? We strapped on our most absorbent underwear to find out. Mmm, roomy.
ASSASSINS CREED - INTERVIEW
After a never ending stream of number 2s – not a medical condition, I hasten to add – history’s most lethal hoody is back in Assassin’s Creed 3, the… fifth… game in the Assassin’s Creed franchise. Huh. Anyway, with an all-new era to terrorise, Steve Hill hopped inside his animus to find out more...
REVIEW ROUND UP
The world of commerce has decreed open season on your wallet this month, with a ton of high profile games coming out, baying for your attention like a pack of money-stealing babies. Disturbing metaphors aside, here’s a round-up of the biggest Spring releases.
[weird baby noises and disturbing music, as Chris starts to cower in his seat. The kind of thing David Lynch has nightmares about after a heavy intake of cheese].
STREET FIGHTER x TEKKEN
The latest in Capcom’s thumb-curdling license mash-ups sees Ryu & co tag team with the Tekken gang. As with Marvel vs Capcom, combat is super slick, and graphics bulge with stylish detail, all slathered in thick layers of loving polish. Faster than its forebears, but not as manic as its Marvel sibling, Street Fighter Cross Tekken opts out of near-lethal sensory overload in favour of a more tactical arena, with some impressive innovations.
That new DNA definitely makes welcome waves in the gene pool, and all without compromising the pedigree of either franchise. For instance, you can sacrifice a character in order to give your teammate a 10 second power boost; gem slots add well-balanced attributes to your characters; and playing the 4 player co op mode induces just the right amount of blind panic and righteous indignation.
Capcom’s genetic splicing has produced to a tight, muscular offspring, far from the kind of pale clone you might expect. Anyone hankering for a good old beat em up will find themselves pleasantly surprised by a deep playing experience that can stand proudly alongside its prestigious ancestors. Plus it has fart jokes.
8.5
SYNDICATE
Reformatted from a 90s top-down strategy-fest into a chart-seducing first person shooter, it’s no surprise that Syndicate has some identity issues. Set in that all but inevitable Blade Runner-style future, the world is demarcated not into countries but conglomerates, with inter-corporate espionage the new form of warfare. As a company operative, your interrogation-by-bullet approach to fact-finding uncovers multiple shady plot devices, involving a genericised Rosario Dawson and a frankly uncanny Brian Cox (no, not that one). From setting to execution, it plays like a hypercharged Deus Ex: Revolution, even down to the player abilities that serve as power-ups. Ranging from weapon backfires, to suicide by spontaneous combustion, augmentations are not short on gore or imagination, and prove to be a standout mechanic in an otherwise mechanical shooter. The graphics have a pleasant sheen to them, spilling into a rather less pleasant obsession with lighting glares and foggy lenses. The action itself is tight and occasionally inventive, with some great co-op multiplayer on offer. For fans of futuristic sci-fi shooters, this is a thoroughly enjoyable addition to your post-Mass Effect list.
7.5
FIFA Street
With an almost Stalinist revision of history, EA Sports – perhaps wisely – has elected to overlook the previous three instalments of FIFA Street, and ‘rebooted’ the series with the cunningly named… FIFA Street. As previously, it involves an array of global stars improbably playing on impromptu urban pitches that would definitely result in a turned ankle. Football strategy is overlooked in favour of outlandish tricks and flicks, and in a move that can only be deemed as progress, unlike the previous FIFA Streets, this one isn’t absolute garbage.
7
Silent Hill: Downpour
The Silent Hill series has gone downhill since development shifted from its native Japan to random Western-based studios. Charting the exploits of an escaped prisoner who stumbles upon the titular ghost town, Downpour fails to buck the trend, featuring ponderous puzzles and lacking the creeping dread that made the original survival horror games so bed-soilingly terrifying. More authentic thrills may be found on the forthcoming HD collection, featuring remastered versions of Silent Hills 2 and 3.
6
Birds Of Steel
Flight Sims might be about as fashionable as doing a Rubik’s Cube while drinking a can of Quattro, but with the recent release of Microsoft Flight followed by this World War II-based affair, could a comeback be on the cards? Probably not. Birds Of Steel is passable enough in a stiff upper lip, ‘chocks-away’ style, but simultaneously lacks both the intricacies demanded by simulation fans and the instant thrills required by action junkies. A largely pensive affair, it mainly consists of flying somewhere, shooting something, and then having a history lesson from Stephen Fry. Apparently he’s on Twitter, you know…
6
Armored Core V
For those who found Transformers a touch on the quiet side, the Armored Core series returns with its uniquely bombastic take on the admittedly niche giant robot genre. Grittier than its predecessor, there’s a story in there somewhere, but unravelling it is only marginally less complex than the convoluted interface. The online aspect has been ramped up, with a Risk-style territorial element requiring you to team up with strangers and declare war on other strangers. One day, all wars will be fought like this.
7
END OF PART 2
And that’s literally all we have time for this month. I mean literally, we’ve got like 5 seconds. Next month, more me, more games, more time, goodbye.
[pause. Looks at watch]
That was a lot more than 5 seco-
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